Why Not Making Room For Mistakes Is Your Biggest Mistake
If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re doing it wrong.
Being exposed to an abundant source of pressure whether from family, friends, society, or even ourselves, has established a set of bounds in our minds, one being that there is no room for mistakes. It is a deeply ingrained mindset as a type of measurement to meet certain expectations. Otherwise, we beat ourselves for it as a consequence. “I shouldn’t have said that. I should’ve done this. I’m so dumb. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? I hate myself.” We tend to be hard on ourselves even for mistakes with minimal to no aftereffect. This may be a matter of low self-esteem or the intense need for approval. We forget that it is in our very nature as humans to make mistakes. Although aiming high is not necessarily a bad thing, constantly doing so could take a toll on your mental health, lifestyle, and relationships.
However, there are cases where people are prideful or worse, indifferent. Some are too proud to admit they make mistakes. They refuse to accept their wrongdoings and get defensive when questioned. Because to acknowledge their mistakes and to take responsibility for bad decisions is too threatening for their egos to tolerate. For the sake of protecting this fragile ego, they use defense mechanisms such as altering their perceptions of reality, settling in a state of denial, and even as far as challenging the already palpable evidence. Aside from this, some people don’t bother to make mistakes. They also don’t concern themselves to recognize their mistakes because they lack the proclivity to go out of their way and try. One being indifferent is more problematic than one expressing anger at their mistakes. As Elie Wiesel stated in The Perils of Indifference: “Anger can at times be creative. One writes a great poem, a great symphony…but indifference is never creative.” They are often seen as detached, disinterested, and dispassionate. Indifference is the worst kind of response because one simply doesn’t.
All things considered, we take into account that mistakes are human and inevitable. We must understand this not as a justification, yet as a reality that we have to accept, steel for, and learn to deal with. Foremost, accepting your mistakes allows you to liberate more room for mental space which you can use more productively than having a self-pity party or staying in denial. Moreover, if you don’t make mistakes, you also fail to try and take risks. Succumbing to your fears and letting it control you, means denying yourself the opportunity to explore and thrive. As the popular saying goes, these mistakes are building blocks to success. It supports you to live your life to the fullest as it replaces your fears with strength and enthusiasm.
If you do make a mistake, embrace your flaws and vulnerability. Yes, recognizing your weaknesses is terrifying, but this means even if you know you suck at something, you choose to believe in yourself and take action to make progress. On another note, if you made a mistake to others, keep an open mind, and be courteous enough to take responsibility. Exert an effort to find ways to make it right. Even if it means having difficult conversations, consider their comments as constructive criticisms. This will help you build confidence and show you are open to improvement.
And stay with me here, it’s also important to allow your loved ones to make mistakes. And if they do, develop a genuine understanding. It can be difficult to feel neglected by your significant other or to see your best friend disregard your advice and go back to their abusive ex-partner. But if you immediately react negatively, you might convey a sense of judgment or lack of understanding. So, you should not easily dismiss them but rather communicate your issues and concerns and give them the chance to learn, to be held accountable, and to grow from their mistakes. It’s also helpful to ask yourself, “Is their mistake bigger than my love for them?” Once you’ve thought about it long and hard, that’s the time you decide your verdict. These mistakes are opportunities to develop one’s mentality and skills. Committing mistakes is not the end of the world, it’s a lesson that reminds us we have room for improvement.
At some point in our lives, we are all bound to disappoint ourselves as well as others, but that’s not to say it’s entirely a negative circumstance. When we have to admit we’re wrong or we’ve been wronged, most of us mope a little but eventually, we move past it. Regardless of who committed a mistake, how you respond to these situations is always your choice. But if you don’t make room for mistakes, then you’re also hindering yourself from making room for improvement. So, instead of sobbing into your second box of cookies and hoping each bite of chewy saccharin will somehow take the pain away, take the road toward mistake room-making. Be willing to experience the discomfort mistakes bring because that’s where growth happens.
